I have been meaning to post this for a while but keep forgetting. Thank you to my friend Kristin for forwarding this link to me. It's a free monthly cleaning service which will clean the homes of folks who are going through chemotherapy. Sounds like the process is fairly easy ... you sign up ... get your doctor to mail a letter to them and they come to your house.
I have not used them since I have been well enough to work and keep up with my usual housework. I would feel like a terrible fraud for asking for help when I really didn't need any. I am sure that there will be folks out there who will need them far more than me.
Here is the link: http://www.cleaningforareason.org/ Please pass this along to a friend who is going through this terrible treatment ... he or she will be grateful. I've also got this posted in the right sidebar under Cancer Websites.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Last Big Witch Chemo!
I made the nurses weepy with the note I attached to the cake. I told them that I wrote from my heart and that I meant every word.
Everything went well today ... I couldn't have asked for a better infusion. The results of the bloodwork came back quickly ... my absolute neuts were 5.1 -- exactly where the infectious diseases doctor wanted them to be before he would release me. My body did the work all on its own with a little help from Decadron and with no Neulasta shots!
The pharmacy was really quick too which is unusual. It was as if God was smiling down at me. I took the gift and said "thank you".
You know that saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth? Today I was grateful for the smooth infusion. There were little bumps -- my potassium was a little low so Dr. Schaffer's nurse practitioner, Dianne, ordered some pills; I got itching palms from the Carboplatin but Becky slowed down the drip and the problem corrected itself. These were tiny, tiny little things in my wonderful big day today.
I came home with those red, white and green balloons ... don't ask me why those colors but I was happy to take them and celebrate.
However, I will be back at the infusion center tomorrow at 3:45 for my Neulasta shot. It has to be given 24 hours after the TCH infusion. I decided to go with Dr. Schaffer's recommendation because I do not want to end up in the hospital again.
Thank You to Wonderful Nurses!
To All You Wonderful People,
Today is my last TCH and I wanted to thank all of you for helping me through this. When I first started I could not see the end and was not sure what to expect … but here I am today celebrating my last “big” chemo!
Your compassion, kindness and incredible patience make a world of difference to people who are going through some of the worst times of their lives.
No matter where I go on my journey, you have all become part of my life … I will always remember you and thank God that you all exist in this profession that you have chosen.
A very special thank you to Maria who restored my faith in nurses and gave me the first glimmer of hope that I could do this. And many, many thanks to Elaine and Mary who came to my rescue when I needed them most.
This truly is a heartfelt thank you to the wonderful nurses, staff and volunteers of the infusion center … I will never forget you!
Sincerely,
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Be Good to Yourself
Rose Gold and Pink Radiance
When I was in the hospital last week trying to figure out a way from going crazy, John brought me my computer and there in my email was a notification from Avon reminding me that it was my 2nd anniversary of buying online and offering me free shipping. That was worth exploring. I've had Avon's Viva Pink on my toenails since I was first diagnosed. I poked around to see if there were any other colors that might catch my fancy -- two actually -- Rose Gold and Pink Radiance.
It was a particularly trying week so I added a couple of things -- two creams, a mascara and some hand lotion. They all arrived today ... the day before my last Big Witch chemo!
Today I also got to meet with Dr. Schaffer so she could clear me for my infusion tomorrow. I found out that she is recommending a Neulasta shot tomorrow to boost my White Blood Count after TCH. That's the shot that's given in the stomach and causes bone and muscle pain in some women. Apparently these women weep for days. I am not most women so I am going to give it a try and pray very hard that I will be fine.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Fingers Crossed
My student worker just called in sick! This morning I did my usual sanitizing of my work computer and surrounding area but I know that you can't get every bit of germ/bacteria/virus that is hanging around. But I did another round after her phone call. You just do it with a prayer in your heart that you won't catch anything.
I have been using Eileen's computer which is in itself not an ideal situation but it does get me away from the reference desk and another layer of protection from the crowd.
And I hope to goodness that whatever Chris has, I will not catch. My last TCH is this Thursday and I cannot afford to miss it because if I do, it will push all my other plans out of sync.
Fingers crossed ... dear God ... don't let me catch anything!
I have been using Eileen's computer which is in itself not an ideal situation but it does get me away from the reference desk and another layer of protection from the crowd.
And I hope to goodness that whatever Chris has, I will not catch. My last TCH is this Thursday and I cannot afford to miss it because if I do, it will push all my other plans out of sync.
Fingers crossed ... dear God ... don't let me catch anything!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Cloudy Comes Home
It feels good to have Cloudy home again. John picked up her ashes today. With that came her certificate of cremation and a clay disc with her paw print on it. I had to bake it in the oven to harden it. Didn't want it sitting around to get smashed or flattened.
We will bury her ashes in the backyard but not just yet. I want to fix up the backyard once I am well and then we will pick the perfect spot for her. There is no hurry ... everything will have to be just right for our little kitty paw.
I have been missing her so very much, and I am glad she is home ... it feels right.
We will bury her ashes in the backyard but not just yet. I want to fix up the backyard once I am well and then we will pick the perfect spot for her. There is no hurry ... everything will have to be just right for our little kitty paw.
I have been missing her so very much, and I am glad she is home ... it feels right.
A Clean Mammogram Maybe
Fairly good news this morning .... the mammogram of my right breast showed that there is what Dr. de Paredes is calling "almost certainly" a benign area and recommends a six-month follow up with an MRI and mammograms. She told me all was good so I am taking her at her word and trusting in her judgment and I am walking on faith.
Dr. Trivette ordered the mammogram in preparation for the radiation which will start on August 22. If there had been another tumor, it would have had to be removed before radiation could be done. That's because you can only radiate an area once.
I got to meet with Dr. de Paredes and to thank her for saving my life because I really believe that her skill saved me. How do you spot a tumor that small and know it for what it is? That's skill.
I will come back in six months for my bilateral mammograms and if everything goes well, it will go back to just once a year. My life will go back to its normal pattern. At least that is what I hope. However, I think that nothing will ever be normal again.
Dr. Trivette ordered the mammogram in preparation for the radiation which will start on August 22. If there had been another tumor, it would have had to be removed before radiation could be done. That's because you can only radiate an area once.
I got to meet with Dr. de Paredes and to thank her for saving my life because I really believe that her skill saved me. How do you spot a tumor that small and know it for what it is? That's skill.
I will come back in six months for my bilateral mammograms and if everything goes well, it will go back to just once a year. My life will go back to its normal pattern. At least that is what I hope. However, I think that nothing will ever be normal again.
We Are OK, God
I've been mad at God ever since Cloudy died. I asked him not to let anything happen to her but he didn't save her, and I got really, really angry. I did not want my cat to die, I did not want to never being able to see her again and play with her. I could not imagine not having her perch on the corner of the sink, watching me as I cleaned and chopped celery; or Cloudy coming down just as I am taking chicken out of the oven and walking over to her food bowl to wait for her shredded chicken. I wanted my life to remain the same.
I know it's not God's fault. She was too sick to be saved and it would have been cruel to prolong her life when the end was inevitable. I wanted her to live to make me feel better ... I didn't want to lose her this year ... making it an even crappier year.
God and I have been together since I first learnt to pray and to understand about faith. He let me have my little snit because he knew that I would come to my senses sooner rather than later. I could not survive without my faith.
When I was in the hospital this week I started to pray again. Not so much -- "let me be well again" but it was more -- "thy will be done." I know he has already cured me ... I have no doubt about that. I have been praying for everyone else -- so much in the world that needs to be fixed.
God and I are OK again and life is as it should be.
I know it's not God's fault. She was too sick to be saved and it would have been cruel to prolong her life when the end was inevitable. I wanted her to live to make me feel better ... I didn't want to lose her this year ... making it an even crappier year.
God and I have been together since I first learnt to pray and to understand about faith. He let me have my little snit because he knew that I would come to my senses sooner rather than later. I could not survive without my faith.
When I was in the hospital this week I started to pray again. Not so much -- "let me be well again" but it was more -- "thy will be done." I know he has already cured me ... I have no doubt about that. I have been praying for everyone else -- so much in the world that needs to be fixed.
God and I are OK again and life is as it should be.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
The Knockout Punch
For the first time in 14 weeks this chemotherapy has knocked me for a loop. On Sunday I had been feeling tired for most of the day but I thought it was because I had overdone it yesterday with helping Sarah move. However, at about 6 pm, I started feeling a little chilled and not quite myself, so I went upstairs to take my temperature and to my horror it was 100.9!
I couldn't believe it and got my glasses but it still said 100.9. I knew that was not good because whenever I'm in neutropenia the nurses hand me an information sheet and one of the items on it is about taking your temperature everyday and if you get a temperature of 100.3, you have to call your oncologist. I waited about 10 minutes and it was still the same -- 100.9. I started to get anxious ... I did not want to go to the hospital! I wait another 15 minutes and then I take my temperature again and it has gone up to 101.3!
I am so mad that I am almost in tears but I know what I had to do. I put a call in to my oncologist office and get the answering service. While waiting for someone to call me back I back my overnight bag, and sure enough the doctor who is covering for my oncologist sends me to St. Mary's emergency room.
You hear all these horror stories of people waiting for hours in the emergency room but I was seen in less than five minutes. My white blood count had gone down to 0 and there was no way I was leaving that place. It isn't till midnight that I get to a room on the oncology floor. John goes home and I finally go to sleep at 2 am ... not that I get to sleep much. I wake up on the hour to go to the bathroom because of the IV drip they've got me on. By just after 5 am, I give up on sleep and get ready for the day.
I see all kinds of doctors who pop into my room but I don't see Dr. Schaffer and I learn later that she is on vacation. I still have a low grade fever but it's down to 99. I'm now on antibiotics and that infernal drip.
My fever is gone by Tuesday and my white blood counts are up but it is not where it is supposed to be and I wasn't getting out of there until my WBC reaches 5,000. I know my WBC would never reach that on its own and I will not take those shots.
When I think I couldn't possibly take it anymore, the hospitalist contacts Dr. Schaffer's office and I am finally discharged on Wednesday. My absolute neutrophils are 0.8 and while that does not meet normal standards, it's good enough to release me because that is normal for me. I should be able to function quite well at that level with the usual precautions that I usually take.
The needle has been left in so my infusion today went very quickly. We were out of there by 1 pm ... yippee!
I hope that this is the only bump in my chemotherapy journey and that this was my "when it rains, it pours" moment. It was just one of those times when I was in a vulnerable place ... sad from the loss of Cloudy and on a downward spiral from the TCH.
Next week is my last TCH infusion and the week after that is when I have to be so incredibly careful. I don't know if I can do this again.
I couldn't believe it and got my glasses but it still said 100.9. I knew that was not good because whenever I'm in neutropenia the nurses hand me an information sheet and one of the items on it is about taking your temperature everyday and if you get a temperature of 100.3, you have to call your oncologist. I waited about 10 minutes and it was still the same -- 100.9. I started to get anxious ... I did not want to go to the hospital! I wait another 15 minutes and then I take my temperature again and it has gone up to 101.3!
I am so mad that I am almost in tears but I know what I had to do. I put a call in to my oncologist office and get the answering service. While waiting for someone to call me back I back my overnight bag, and sure enough the doctor who is covering for my oncologist sends me to St. Mary's emergency room.
You hear all these horror stories of people waiting for hours in the emergency room but I was seen in less than five minutes. My white blood count had gone down to 0 and there was no way I was leaving that place. It isn't till midnight that I get to a room on the oncology floor. John goes home and I finally go to sleep at 2 am ... not that I get to sleep much. I wake up on the hour to go to the bathroom because of the IV drip they've got me on. By just after 5 am, I give up on sleep and get ready for the day.
I see all kinds of doctors who pop into my room but I don't see Dr. Schaffer and I learn later that she is on vacation. I still have a low grade fever but it's down to 99. I'm now on antibiotics and that infernal drip.
My fever is gone by Tuesday and my white blood counts are up but it is not where it is supposed to be and I wasn't getting out of there until my WBC reaches 5,000. I know my WBC would never reach that on its own and I will not take those shots.
When I think I couldn't possibly take it anymore, the hospitalist contacts Dr. Schaffer's office and I am finally discharged on Wednesday. My absolute neutrophils are 0.8 and while that does not meet normal standards, it's good enough to release me because that is normal for me. I should be able to function quite well at that level with the usual precautions that I usually take.
The needle has been left in so my infusion today went very quickly. We were out of there by 1 pm ... yippee!
I hope that this is the only bump in my chemotherapy journey and that this was my "when it rains, it pours" moment. It was just one of those times when I was in a vulnerable place ... sad from the loss of Cloudy and on a downward spiral from the TCH.
Next week is my last TCH infusion and the week after that is when I have to be so incredibly careful. I don't know if I can do this again.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Moving Sarah
We moved Sarah to her new apartment today. We got there bright and early and headed to the new apartment ... it is in building from the 1920s but it has been updated with wood floors and a newer bathroom, and a kitchen that is just a tab bigger than the previous one (not that Sarah will be doing much cooking).
I didn't know how much I would be able to do but I started mopping the floors ... started with the bathroom, then the bedroom, living room and kitchen. I also managed to wipe down her cabinets and wash her drinking glasses before I sat down on the chair, put my feet up and was done for the day. Thank goodness that David and Blake came over soon after with the bed that they put together, and as soon as that was made, I was on it with a blanket pulled over me ... I was out for a short while.
I think I may have done a little too much because I was exhausted when we came home. I went to bed at 8:30 and didn't wake till 6 this morning.
I didn't know how much I would be able to do but I started mopping the floors ... started with the bathroom, then the bedroom, living room and kitchen. I also managed to wipe down her cabinets and wash her drinking glasses before I sat down on the chair, put my feet up and was done for the day. Thank goodness that David and Blake came over soon after with the bed that they put together, and as soon as that was made, I was on it with a blanket pulled over me ... I was out for a short while.
I think I may have done a little too much because I was exhausted when we came home. I went to bed at 8:30 and didn't wake till 6 this morning.
14th Infusion
I've had a tough, tough week with fatigue and sadness at the loss of Cloudy. I lost 5 lb. put gained one back this morning. I have just been too tired to exercise. But I've kept up my chores and cooking because we had visitors from Tuesday through Thursday. It was good to have people because it feels like I have been confined to this house since I started chemo in April.
There were some issues with accessing my port ... Maria couldn't get it in twice and called for help from Elaine who finally got it in. This was a first for Maria!
My absolute neutrophils have plummeted to 0.2 and I am back to restricted activities. I am that way all the time so this will not mean anything different for me. I have undertaken those precautions since I first found out what I had to do during these times. Diane from Dr. Schaffer's office came over to speak with me about precautions and I had to sign a document saying that they had spoken to me.
I only have four more infusions after this!
There were some issues with accessing my port ... Maria couldn't get it in twice and called for help from Elaine who finally got it in. This was a first for Maria!
My absolute neutrophils have plummeted to 0.2 and I am back to restricted activities. I am that way all the time so this will not mean anything different for me. I have undertaken those precautions since I first found out what I had to do during these times. Diane from Dr. Schaffer's office came over to speak with me about precautions and I had to sign a document saying that they had spoken to me.
I only have four more infusions after this!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Radiation
We met with Dr. George Trivette today and learned about my radiation schedule. I will start daily radiations on August 22 and those will last for seven weeks. I will go for the simulation on Aug. 8 where they mark the area to be radiated (is there such a word?).
I have no clue what any of this will be like. Sure we watched a video but until you go through it, you will have no idea what to expect. I am not as terrified of this as I was of chemo. I seriously doubt that anything is as terrifying as chemotherapy but we shall see.
We will get through this like we get through everything else ... one day at a time.
I have no clue what any of this will be like. Sure we watched a video but until you go through it, you will have no idea what to expect. I am not as terrified of this as I was of chemo. I seriously doubt that anything is as terrifying as chemotherapy but we shall see.
We will get through this like we get through everything else ... one day at a time.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Goodbye Cloudy
Cloudy McFurrball Campbell, April 26, 1997 - July 9, 2011
Just when I thought this crappy year could not possibly get any worse ... we had to put Cloudy down today. She had been off her food for a few days and her breathing had been very labored so this morning we took her to the vet. Even when Dr. Woodhouse came back and told us that there was fluid in her lungs and that her white blood count was elevated, I expected there to be something they could do for her. This was our strong feisty cat who had a clean bill of health not more than a month ago. It just did not seem possible that this was the end. But it was and I had to call Sarah to tell her to come to the vet to say goodbye to her best buddy.
And as we waited for Sarah, Cloudy sat on the counter top with her face resting on the back of my hand and my heart kept breaking.
It was so very hard to say goodbye to our Cloudy. I was the first one to hold her when she came into our family and I was the last one to hold her as she left us ... mine was the last voice she heard and the last face she saw.
Goodbye, sweet girl, thank you for the love and the memories.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
5th TCH
At last with this one over today, I only have one more TCH infusion on July 28! I really cannot wait and three weeks cannot come fast enough.
I did not get the good nurse Maria but instead I got gentle Anne whom I had a couple of weeks ago. I did not mind, I liked her and she got the needle in on the first try, just like the first time. She got blood from the port too ... yay! Everything went very quickly ... the results of the bloodwork came back very quickly. My absolute neuts are 10.1 which is definitely up from the miserable 0.5 from two weeks ago.
I was done before 2 pm and it was wonderful to have all that time to check on work emails, get dinner going, and then make the filling for the chicken pot pies for tomorrow. My lunch of brown rice is packed for tomorrow so everything is done! Now to update all the blogs.
I did not get the good nurse Maria but instead I got gentle Anne whom I had a couple of weeks ago. I did not mind, I liked her and she got the needle in on the first try, just like the first time. She got blood from the port too ... yay! Everything went very quickly ... the results of the bloodwork came back very quickly. My absolute neuts are 10.1 which is definitely up from the miserable 0.5 from two weeks ago.
I was done before 2 pm and it was wonderful to have all that time to check on work emails, get dinner going, and then make the filling for the chicken pot pies for tomorrow. My lunch of brown rice is packed for tomorrow so everything is done! Now to update all the blogs.
Insomnia
I've had insomnia for the first time since I started chemotherapy and I am pretty sure it is the Decadron. I took the full prescribed dose yesterday. Before the last TCH I had forgotten my morning dose and took only one dose when I remembered. I never take the dose on the day after TCH and I haven't noticed any effects from doing that.
I did not sleep a wink so at 4 am I got out of bed and started fiddling around in the kitchen. I made my pie crust for Friday's chicken pot pie dinner, and prepared lunch to be taken with me to my chemo session ... some kind of soup and crackers. I figure the more liquid I can put in me, the more liquid will flush out the drugs.
Now I am just waiting for hubby to wake up so I can get on the elliptical and do 20 minutes. I've been able to exercise every single day since Sunday ... I am very pleased with that!
I know I can only do what my body allows me to do but I have made preparations for upping my exercise and changing some eating habits once my last TCH is done on July 28. I have registered on a site called www.fitday.com -- it's free and you can track what you eat, how much you exercise, etc., etc. I have to get rid of this chemo belly ... so many woman struggle with this long after their chemotherapy is done. I will try my very best to beat this!
I did not sleep a wink so at 4 am I got out of bed and started fiddling around in the kitchen. I made my pie crust for Friday's chicken pot pie dinner, and prepared lunch to be taken with me to my chemo session ... some kind of soup and crackers. I figure the more liquid I can put in me, the more liquid will flush out the drugs.
Now I am just waiting for hubby to wake up so I can get on the elliptical and do 20 minutes. I've been able to exercise every single day since Sunday ... I am very pleased with that!
I know I can only do what my body allows me to do but I have made preparations for upping my exercise and changing some eating habits once my last TCH is done on July 28. I have registered on a site called www.fitday.com -- it's free and you can track what you eat, how much you exercise, etc., etc. I have to get rid of this chemo belly ... so many woman struggle with this long after their chemotherapy is done. I will try my very best to beat this!
Big Witch Chemo Tomorrow
My 5th and second to last TCH is tomorrow! Dread and joy at the same time ... I am looking forward to almost being done and dreading the next week and a half. I know I can do it ... just don't want to go through all that. I can hear my grandmother's voice ... " Pull up your boot straps and deal with it!" I hear you, Nanny!
I've been eating soup and fruits for the last few days but today I did something really bad ... I had fish and chips for dinner and it was yummy! I ate all the fish, two hushpuppies and about 8-10 chips, so I didn't feel too bad. Life is short ... eat fish and chips!
I'm coming Big Witch Chemo ... I am coming! I hope my favorite nurse Maria is back from England ... I have missed her.
I've been eating soup and fruits for the last few days but today I did something really bad ... I had fish and chips for dinner and it was yummy! I ate all the fish, two hushpuppies and about 8-10 chips, so I didn't feel too bad. Life is short ... eat fish and chips!
I'm coming Big Witch Chemo ... I am coming! I hope my favorite nurse Maria is back from England ... I have missed her.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Company
We had company on Friday for the first time since I started chemotherapy in April. John's parents, sister and niece spent the night before continuing on to New Jersey for the Fourth of July picnic. I made dinner and then breakfast this morning and I did not tire myself out. I am still feeling good.
On Thursday I had my 12th infusion which means that I have only six more to go. I was almost not able to have my infusion because I had not had my EKG which had been scheduled for 8:30 am that day. Guess what? No one had called me to let me know it had been scheduled and no one had called to remind me. I cannot go to something that I do not know about. There was a mad scramble to get me an EKG before 1 pm and somehow they managed to get it done because I was not about to postpone my infusion. Someone was going to die if I had not had that infusion. Here I am doing everything right and some stupid scheduler who does not do her job, jeopardizes my treatment ... blooming idiot!
This was my Herceptin infusion so I didn't have any significant side effects. I'm just trying to drink a lot of fluids to flush the drug out of my system as soon as I can ... I can't stand the smell of it in my urine ... it just reminds me of what is in me.
Next Thursday is my fifth TCH and then I will have only one left. I've got my liquids (soups) purchased for next week. But in the meantime I am going to enjoy the long weekend!
On Thursday I had my 12th infusion which means that I have only six more to go. I was almost not able to have my infusion because I had not had my EKG which had been scheduled for 8:30 am that day. Guess what? No one had called me to let me know it had been scheduled and no one had called to remind me. I cannot go to something that I do not know about. There was a mad scramble to get me an EKG before 1 pm and somehow they managed to get it done because I was not about to postpone my infusion. Someone was going to die if I had not had that infusion. Here I am doing everything right and some stupid scheduler who does not do her job, jeopardizes my treatment ... blooming idiot!
This was my Herceptin infusion so I didn't have any significant side effects. I'm just trying to drink a lot of fluids to flush the drug out of my system as soon as I can ... I can't stand the smell of it in my urine ... it just reminds me of what is in me.
Next Thursday is my fifth TCH and then I will have only one left. I've got my liquids (soups) purchased for next week. But in the meantime I am going to enjoy the long weekend!
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