The anniversary of my diagnosis is approaching and I have been trying not to think of it. This is not an anniversary that anyone looks forward to or celebrates. Instead it brings a dread that is hard to shake off. I have often referred to 2011 as the year that saved my life and while John thinks of it as the most awful year of our lives, I do not quite see it that way.
I went through some terrible things that I wasn't sure I would survive. But I fought so hard not to have them break my spirit or my body. Some days were harder than others but here I am almost a year later ... stronger in spirit and getting stronger in body.
I began 2012 ... the year of the Dragon ... with so much hope. I am filled with the sense that this is a different year from the last. I can't wait for Monday morning to be over ... so that the dread that is dancing on the edges of my being can be dispelled.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
My Radiation Friend has died
I was sad today to learn about the death of Fr. Theophile Brown:
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=theophile-waldorf-brown&pid=155229224
http://richmondmonks.org/?p=451
John was reading the Catholic Virginian and said, "Isn't this the priest that had his radiation with you?" I looked at the picture and saw that it was indeed, Fr. Brown. He had died on Christmas Eve.
Our paths had crossed during our radiation sessions -- his were a couple of minutes before mine and we would chat as we waited for our treatments. I remember how happy he was at the end of his treatment. We ran into each other outside St. Mary's and we stopped to chat. He told me that he was done and that he was looking forward to gaining back some of the 30 pounds he had lost. We wished each other good luck and that was the last I saw of him.
I had hoped that he had gone on to recover from his tongue and throat cancer and was gaining weight. I am deeply saddened by the fact that he lived only a few more months after that day. I hope his last days were filled with peace and acceptance that his time on this earth was coming to an end, and that his 86 years here had been well spent.
It is not always easy to keep away thoughts of what this disease really means -- it is a death sentence that hangs over you for all time, and it gets more difficult when people who have touched your life, succumb to it.
I shall pray for you tonight, Fr. Brown, and I hope that you are now with the God you served for so many decades. And I hope you spare a thought for me and a prayer that God gives me the long life he gave you.
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=theophile-waldorf-brown&pid=155229224
http://richmondmonks.org/?p=451
John was reading the Catholic Virginian and said, "Isn't this the priest that had his radiation with you?" I looked at the picture and saw that it was indeed, Fr. Brown. He had died on Christmas Eve.
Our paths had crossed during our radiation sessions -- his were a couple of minutes before mine and we would chat as we waited for our treatments. I remember how happy he was at the end of his treatment. We ran into each other outside St. Mary's and we stopped to chat. He told me that he was done and that he was looking forward to gaining back some of the 30 pounds he had lost. We wished each other good luck and that was the last I saw of him.
I had hoped that he had gone on to recover from his tongue and throat cancer and was gaining weight. I am deeply saddened by the fact that he lived only a few more months after that day. I hope his last days were filled with peace and acceptance that his time on this earth was coming to an end, and that his 86 years here had been well spent.
It is not always easy to keep away thoughts of what this disease really means -- it is a death sentence that hangs over you for all time, and it gets more difficult when people who have touched your life, succumb to it.
I shall pray for you tonight, Fr. Brown, and I hope that you are now with the God you served for so many decades. And I hope you spare a thought for me and a prayer that God gives me the long life he gave you.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Normal Potassium!
On Friday, January 5th, I went for my Herceptin infusion and was happy to find out that my potassium has finally climbed up to 4 from the miserable 2.9 three weeks ago. I guess removing the HCT from my Diovan and all the potassium pills have finally helped!
I knew that Herceptin was somehow interfering with one of my medications. At least now I don't have to worry about my potassium levels and whether each time I go for my infusion, I would need to have an extra two hours for the potassium infusion.
So happy!
I knew that Herceptin was somehow interfering with one of my medications. At least now I don't have to worry about my potassium levels and whether each time I go for my infusion, I would need to have an extra two hours for the potassium infusion.
So happy!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Pain ... Pain
I had the most excruciating pain in my right hip this morning! I don't know how I managed to get dressed but couldn't lift my leg to get into my car so I don't know how I thought I would be able to function at work.
It's been many, many years still I've had pain like that. At first I thought it was pain in my bone but I finally figured out that it was probably muscular because it would hurt even more when I moved a certain way. I could not sit properly or lay down. I took Aleve and used a hot water bottle but it wasn't till 2 pm when I had some relief.
I actually felt better moving around and I would walk around the house whenever I was awake. I kept falling asleep -- it was probably a reaction to the Aleve and the pain.
I am pretty sure that this is more than likely a side effect of one of the many drugs I've had to take.
It's been many, many years still I've had pain like that. At first I thought it was pain in my bone but I finally figured out that it was probably muscular because it would hurt even more when I moved a certain way. I could not sit properly or lay down. I took Aleve and used a hot water bottle but it wasn't till 2 pm when I had some relief.
I actually felt better moving around and I would walk around the house whenever I was awake. I kept falling asleep -- it was probably a reaction to the Aleve and the pain.
I am pretty sure that this is more than likely a side effect of one of the many drugs I've had to take.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Merry Christmas!
I had a lovely, lovely Christmas with the family. David stopped in just after noon to spend the rest of Christmas day with us and it was really nice.
We stuffed ourselves on pizza rolls, cranberry meatballs and cheese log, and when dinner rolled around we could barely eat the prime rib, macaroni and cheese, french beans, rolls! It served us right.
It wasn't long before we were all crashed in the den on our various electronic devices and I was downloading photos, and exchanging funny chats with Sarah and laughing hysterically. I had a great time!
I know this disease has given me a different perspective on what is important in life and I am deeply grateful for all the special times I get to celebrate, and all the rest of the days that I get to live.
The anniversary of my diagnosis is coming up and I am trying not to let that bother me. I have faith ...
We stuffed ourselves on pizza rolls, cranberry meatballs and cheese log, and when dinner rolled around we could barely eat the prime rib, macaroni and cheese, french beans, rolls! It served us right.
It wasn't long before we were all crashed in the den on our various electronic devices and I was downloading photos, and exchanging funny chats with Sarah and laughing hysterically. I had a great time!
I know this disease has given me a different perspective on what is important in life and I am deeply grateful for all the special times I get to celebrate, and all the rest of the days that I get to live.
The anniversary of my diagnosis is coming up and I am trying not to let that bother me. I have faith ...
Friday, December 23, 2011
Blood Pressure Medication Changed
I managed to get an appointment to see my GP today. The appointment was for 11 but didn't actually get to see her until 12:30 -- there were moments when thoughts of murder did occur! Anyway, she has switched my blood pressure medication to one without the diuretic, so we shall see how the potassium does with this new pill.
I never was so glad to get out of there because I was starving! I had been on the elliptical that morning and had only had water because I wasn't sure whether she was going to be doing bloodwork -- never can tell. I was ready to eat a horse by the time she was done with me!
I never was so glad to get out of there because I was starving! I had been on the elliptical that morning and had only had water because I wasn't sure whether she was going to be doing bloodwork -- never can tell. I was ready to eat a horse by the time she was done with me!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Damn Potassium
Today was my last Herceptin infusion for the year and had to stay an extra 2 hours for a potassium infusion -- yes, the pesky thing has dropped to 2.9! How is that possible? I have been on potassium pills and am eating potassium rich foods.
The oncologist's nurse, Diane, came to speak with me, and it's clear that they think that it is the HCT in my blood pressure medication that is interacting with the Herceptin to produce the low potassium levels. I'm going to have to make an appointment with the GP before my Jan. 6 Herceptin infusion so she can switch my blood pressure pills.
Well ... this is nothing new ... my "new" life is about adjusting and more adjusting ...
The oncologist's nurse, Diane, came to speak with me, and it's clear that they think that it is the HCT in my blood pressure medication that is interacting with the Herceptin to produce the low potassium levels. I'm going to have to make an appointment with the GP before my Jan. 6 Herceptin infusion so she can switch my blood pressure pills.
Well ... this is nothing new ... my "new" life is about adjusting and more adjusting ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)