When I first started, 18 weeks looked like such a long stretch of time, but now that I am half way through my TCH infusion and have had 7 total infusions, it seems so doable. The clue is to take one week at a time and check it off your list. My new mantra with the treatments is "live in the moment" -- just look at the step in front of you and conquer that before you put your foot down on the next step.
It is the same at work. On the week after chemo when I am weary to the bone and my concentration is bad, I set myself small doable tasks and I tackle one thing at a time. Small projects completed will add up to many jobs done in a day. Or if I have a big project, I do small complete tasks and before I know it, the project is done in a few days and I do not feel overwhelmed. You just have to accept that your life is different now. You have to fit this crappy cancer into your life ... you must not fit your life into it ... this gives it too much power over you, and you will never win.
I have come to accept that each day, each week will be different for me. Today for the first time my absolute neutrophils were 7.5 ... normal for the first time in seven weeks! Each week I give myself a little treat after the infusions. Tonight it will be eating popcorn and watching The Fighter. Last week it was lunch on Friday at the Irish pub with some friends. Little things to celebrate the end of another week of infusions and another week of surviving.
I have also signed on to be one of 60 people in a Bon Secours nursing survey of women with early stage breast cancer and how they cope. This will not help me but it will help all those other patients after me. I was happy to do it. I now belong to a sisterhood (I know men are affected by this too but it is still overwhelming female) and I believe it is my duty to do this and I do it gladly.
I am still trying to find out what God wants me to do with this.
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