At this time last year I was at St. Mary's getting prepped for surgery. Anniversaries like these are bittersweet. The scars from the lumpectomy and the sentinel node removal have faded to tiny silvery lines on my skin and there are moments when I can almost forget that I once had this terrible disease. But I did have it with all the terror it brought.
I am deeply grateful for the team of people who saved my life. On this day I thank God for the skills of Dr. Knaysi. He is a kind, thoughtful surgeon, who paid no heed to my "Just take it all out, I don't care what the breast looks like." He cared and he did a marvelous job. Now when I look in the mirror I don't weep with remembrance. I look almost normal and as the years go by, this will be my new normal, and the memory of this time will fade. I will never forget because no one forgets a time like this, but the emotional response will be different. The choking horror and the dread will be gone.
"Just live" Dr. Schaffer told me and I am doing that. But everyone who has had a disease like this, I think lives on borrowed time. I am no Einstein. I do not have great gifts to give the world. I can only live the best life I know how.
No comments:
Post a Comment