There are some anniversaries that can't really be celebrated but must be acknowledged. This is one of them. It seems hard in the quiet of the night to think that three years ago today, I sat in a little room and listened to the doctor say those dreaded words to me -- "You have invasive ductal carcinoma" and me sitting there thinking -- "What is that exactly?"
What did I learn from this? Perhaps the biggest lesson I have taken away from cancer is that your spirit can see you through the worst and ugliest of times. If you believe, all things are possible, and that massive source of strength in you just feeds your soul and your body. I don't know where it came from, but I thank God for it every day.
I made a promise to myself to treasure all the moments of this precious life that I've been given, and not to squander a moment of it on things and people who don't deserve me. Being afraid of doing what you know to be right destroys your soul. If you cannot climb up that moutain, you will never see the glory and the joy that is on the other side. Is it possible that cancer has taught me to be fearless? Rather ironic that this fearsome, loathsome disease, did not break me ... it made me stronger.
What should I do today? Absolutely nothing differently from what I do everyday and that is the triumph -- that I am here to do those things.
I could not possibly have come through those three years without my wonderful husband and amazing child, who fought down their own fears, to help me crush this disease. We have love and that is enough.
And the prayers of my family and friends wrapped their warm around me and helped me get through the tough times when my hair fell out, and my body was so worn out that I could barely move, and when everything hurt, and I wondered "can I make it through to the end?"
I have made it and on this day I say a prayer of gratitude.
No comments:
Post a Comment