I did not forget the date of my diagnosis or the date of my surgery ... I acknowledged them and I got on with my life. Time has eased the terror and given a kind of normalcy to my life, but it never really leaves you. How can it? You carry the memories with you forever.
I read about Sandra Lee's diagnosis today and I had to think for a second about the kind of cancer I had. See what I mean that some things fade with time, other things stay with you forever? I had invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC) -- it means that the cancer had spread outside the milk ducts. Sandra Lee's cancer is ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) -- meaning that the cancer is confined to the milk ducts and has not spread outside. Her cancer is very survivable but I don't know what the pathology report revealed about the nature of her tumor. My pathology report revealed that I had the most aggressive of cancers - triple positive - meaning it was estrogen+, progesterone+ and HER2+. It would have been a death sentence had a doctor named Dennis Slamon not invented Herceptin. I get to live because of him.
Cancer changes you in so many ways you cannot even begin to explain to anyone who has not been through it. The eyes through which you view the world are so different ... it's as if you have a new world to navigate. I don't view it as a bad thing ... just different.
Would I rather not have had cancer? A resounding "yes" but this is my world now and I live in it. If anyone or anything is not in it with me, it's because I had to move on without you. I don't have any time to waste on anyone or anything that doesn't deserve me.
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