No one had to bribe me to get me out of bed today. Last Thursday, the promise of Japanese food was the incentive that made me crawl out of bed!
I was fortunate to get the good nurse Maria again today and she got the needle in on the first try again. We are still having to use a 1 1/2-inch needle instead of the normal inch needle. There was no pain ... just the pressure of the needle going in and that was all. My neurophils are up to 1.0 from .8 last week. It's still below the 1.5 that they would like to see.
My premeds was still Tylenol and Benadryle and that damn Benadryle made me sleepy again. The Herceptin infusion itself only took 30 minutes but the entire process took 2 1/2 hours. The big one is coming next week.
We talked about hair loss and Maria said it's usually between day 10 - 14 after the first infusion. I am on Day 14. I haven't lost my hair yet but I know that is coming. I wore my wig to work on Monday ... it felt like having a hat on my head. Adjusted it a couple of times during the day but for the most part it was fine. It was after I came home and took it off that I had this pain across the top of my forehead for about an hour or so. Overall not too bad.
Maria remarked about my good attitude and I don't know what to say about it. I don't know how else to be ... I have this disease and I have to deal with it. To me it's really quite simple ... I don't want it but I have it. Crying and brooding about it, changes nothing. I don't think it's my "good" attitude ... it's my practical attitude.
Well, me and my good attitude are going upstairs and getting on the elliptical for as long as my legs will allow.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
12th Day after the Big Chemo
I'm feeling pretty good this week. I'm eating well, although some foods still taste horrible and water tastes like sludge but I've found that if you flavor it with slices of lemon, orange and cucumber, I can actually drink it again! I'm exercising at the same resistance level but doing 20 minutes instead of 45, but you know what, I am moving and doing the best I can. Yesterday I managed 20 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes of yoga. By the end of the night I was moving like a drunken sailor ... I meant to go one way but my body kept going another. But I went to bed early and slept like a blooming log till this morning.
This is a week that has surprised me and given me hope that I can do this ... I can go through this horrible treatment and not lose my mind. Some days will be hell but as long as I know they will end, I can do this.
It was hard not to go to church on Easter Sunday and I can't even remember the last time I missed service, but I have to stay away from crowds ... what is the term the medical folks are using? "Restrict my activities" ... that is what I am doing. I guess it does make sense .. catching anything would just about kill me with my white blood count being so low. I have read about people wishing for death at times like that. It's bad enough that I have to sit at the reference desk and be exposed to whatever someone is carrying but what choice do I have? This is my job.
People have surprised me this week too ... someone I work with went to Chimayo, New Mexico, and brought me back some healing sands. I was deeply touched and my Catholic soul lit up at that ... I am carrying that tin with me until the doctors tell me that I have my 21 years. Isn't that crazy? I do want those 21 years ... I want to see my child graduate, find her first job, plan her wedding, give birth to her children ... I want to look into those faces and see their mother ... I want the joy of loving them and knowing that life goes on.
Another person dropped off a little note that said "Finding the purpose in pain is the hardest part" and that is so true. In the last four months I have said this to John so many times, I am sure the man sometimes wants to gag me ... "What am I supposed to learn from this?" "What good is supposed to come from this?" I still don't know ...
I do know I have a wonderful band of soul sisters, a wonderful family whom I love beyond all measure, and friends who are the best! I am sending virtual hugs to everyone ... I hope to see you all again in August when this treatment is over.
This is a week that has surprised me and given me hope that I can do this ... I can go through this horrible treatment and not lose my mind. Some days will be hell but as long as I know they will end, I can do this.
It was hard not to go to church on Easter Sunday and I can't even remember the last time I missed service, but I have to stay away from crowds ... what is the term the medical folks are using? "Restrict my activities" ... that is what I am doing. I guess it does make sense .. catching anything would just about kill me with my white blood count being so low. I have read about people wishing for death at times like that. It's bad enough that I have to sit at the reference desk and be exposed to whatever someone is carrying but what choice do I have? This is my job.
People have surprised me this week too ... someone I work with went to Chimayo, New Mexico, and brought me back some healing sands. I was deeply touched and my Catholic soul lit up at that ... I am carrying that tin with me until the doctors tell me that I have my 21 years. Isn't that crazy? I do want those 21 years ... I want to see my child graduate, find her first job, plan her wedding, give birth to her children ... I want to look into those faces and see their mother ... I want the joy of loving them and knowing that life goes on.
Another person dropped off a little note that said "Finding the purpose in pain is the hardest part" and that is so true. In the last four months I have said this to John so many times, I am sure the man sometimes wants to gag me ... "What am I supposed to learn from this?" "What good is supposed to come from this?" I still don't know ...
I do know I have a wonderful band of soul sisters, a wonderful family whom I love beyond all measure, and friends who are the best! I am sending virtual hugs to everyone ... I hope to see you all again in August when this treatment is over.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
A Good Herceptin Infusion
At 8:45 am, we presented ourselves at the Infusion Center for my 9 am appointment and was told that my appointment wasn't until 11:15 am! And I thought, "here we go again" ... but I showed the receptionist my appointment schedule and sure enough, it said 9 am.
Thank goodness, they were able to fit me in with wonderful nurse Maria, who needed only one shot to get the needle into the port and I didn't even feel the pinch ... love that woman! While waiting for results of my WBC to come back, the snack cart came around ... you can even get a non-alcoholic martini! Boring old me ... I got the apple juice and Ritz bits cheese crackers.
There was an anxious moment when the lab results came back and my Absolute Neutrophils came back at 0.8 ... the lowest range for normal is 1.5, so we had to wait for clearance from the oncologist's office to give me the infusion. Thank goodness we got it ... I didn't want to have to come back.
My premeds for this were Tylenol and Benadryle ... and I got sleepy ... dozed off a couple of times! Hoping I would be wide awake through this one, but no such luck.
And as promised, I got my Japanese lunch after the infusion. We stopped by the house to pick Sarah up and then we went to Osaka for my bento box. I need protein, so I ordered the sesame chicken, and it was too much to finish ... I'm having it for dinner too. Yum, yum.
Good experience today!
Thank goodness, they were able to fit me in with wonderful nurse Maria, who needed only one shot to get the needle into the port and I didn't even feel the pinch ... love that woman! While waiting for results of my WBC to come back, the snack cart came around ... you can even get a non-alcoholic martini! Boring old me ... I got the apple juice and Ritz bits cheese crackers.
There was an anxious moment when the lab results came back and my Absolute Neutrophils came back at 0.8 ... the lowest range for normal is 1.5, so we had to wait for clearance from the oncologist's office to give me the infusion. Thank goodness we got it ... I didn't want to have to come back.
My premeds for this were Tylenol and Benadryle ... and I got sleepy ... dozed off a couple of times! Hoping I would be wide awake through this one, but no such luck.
And as promised, I got my Japanese lunch after the infusion. We stopped by the house to pick Sarah up and then we went to Osaka for my bento box. I need protein, so I ordered the sesame chicken, and it was too much to finish ... I'm having it for dinner too. Yum, yum.
Good experience today!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
A Mixed Bag
It's hard to believe that a week has gone by and tomorrow I will be at the infusion center for my Herceptin. I am not looking forward to that.
I am however, grateful for the week I have had. Friday following the TCH infusion was almost normal except for the swelling and the discomfort at the port site. I ate normally but in hindsight probably shouldn't have. I noticed a feeling of nausea building up and the slow disintegration of my taste buds until even water tasted slimy.
Saturday morning was perhaps my worst period but who can say whether it was the damn chemo or the Dulcolax going through my system. But there were certainly moments when I almost wished for death (I know, I know ... wimpy). But even in moments like these God sends you little signs to comfort you. Mine was Cloudy and Tiger sitting together by the bathroom door keeping an eye on me, and at that moment if either one had asked for the moon, I would have crawled to get it for them!
Saturday was needless to say, shot to hell for me. I took a shower and stayed in my oldest, most comfortable flannel pajamas, sipping on ginger tea while curled up in the armchair. Amy made me chicken ginger soup and I was able to eat some of that. But the problem is I have now developed an aversion to ginger. I should have listened to those people who said to not eat your favorite foods within three days of getting chemo.
On Sunday everything still tastes like rubbish but there are a few things like the cran-pomegranate juice that still tastes pretty good ... crunchy green beans sauteed with just oil and minced garlic tasted mighty fine. So there is hope that I will find some foods to eat that will sustain me. I have developed the weirdest cravings for food that I have not had in almost 30 years -- Mum's fried rice with Chinese sausage; soy sauce chicken with rice and roasted peanuts (note to self ... put peanuts on shopping list). I have lost seven pounds in a week. But now that I have figured out that I have to just try eating some of the foods that I crave, I will not starve to death.
I have developed a powerful hankering for Japanese food ... maybe if we get out of the infusion center at lunch time, hubby will take me to Osaka tomorrow ... bento box here I come!
The tiredness I can do nothing about, but I just have to listen to my body and not push beyond what it can do. On Monday I stayed at work until 1 pm ... until it became clear that I could not go beyond that without falling asleep at the desk or putting everyone's life in danger as I drove home. Yesterday, I stayed until 2 pm and today I will stay until 3 pm or 4 pm. It's just so strange to wake up feeling so well and then to feel oneself fading an hour later ... I guess as John says this is my new normal.
The constant feeling of being off balance is a nuisance but I can shuffle like an old lady for 18 weeks ... let the students think the librarian is drunk!
Oh, I miss my water but I cannot drink it. Thank goodness for ice cold lemon tea!
I am however, grateful for the week I have had. Friday following the TCH infusion was almost normal except for the swelling and the discomfort at the port site. I ate normally but in hindsight probably shouldn't have. I noticed a feeling of nausea building up and the slow disintegration of my taste buds until even water tasted slimy.
Saturday morning was perhaps my worst period but who can say whether it was the damn chemo or the Dulcolax going through my system. But there were certainly moments when I almost wished for death (I know, I know ... wimpy). But even in moments like these God sends you little signs to comfort you. Mine was Cloudy and Tiger sitting together by the bathroom door keeping an eye on me, and at that moment if either one had asked for the moon, I would have crawled to get it for them!
Saturday was needless to say, shot to hell for me. I took a shower and stayed in my oldest, most comfortable flannel pajamas, sipping on ginger tea while curled up in the armchair. Amy made me chicken ginger soup and I was able to eat some of that. But the problem is I have now developed an aversion to ginger. I should have listened to those people who said to not eat your favorite foods within three days of getting chemo.
On Sunday everything still tastes like rubbish but there are a few things like the cran-pomegranate juice that still tastes pretty good ... crunchy green beans sauteed with just oil and minced garlic tasted mighty fine. So there is hope that I will find some foods to eat that will sustain me. I have developed the weirdest cravings for food that I have not had in almost 30 years -- Mum's fried rice with Chinese sausage; soy sauce chicken with rice and roasted peanuts (note to self ... put peanuts on shopping list). I have lost seven pounds in a week. But now that I have figured out that I have to just try eating some of the foods that I crave, I will not starve to death.
I have developed a powerful hankering for Japanese food ... maybe if we get out of the infusion center at lunch time, hubby will take me to Osaka tomorrow ... bento box here I come!
The tiredness I can do nothing about, but I just have to listen to my body and not push beyond what it can do. On Monday I stayed at work until 1 pm ... until it became clear that I could not go beyond that without falling asleep at the desk or putting everyone's life in danger as I drove home. Yesterday, I stayed until 2 pm and today I will stay until 3 pm or 4 pm. It's just so strange to wake up feeling so well and then to feel oneself fading an hour later ... I guess as John says this is my new normal.
The constant feeling of being off balance is a nuisance but I can shuffle like an old lady for 18 weeks ... let the students think the librarian is drunk!
Oh, I miss my water but I cannot drink it. Thank goodness for ice cold lemon tea!
Friday, April 15, 2011
My Chemo Bag
I have prepared myself a chemo bag to take with me to work. It has the following items:
1. Curel moisturizer
2. Immodium
3. Benadryle
4. Flushable wipes/medicated
5. Desitin
6. Thermometer
7. Toothbrush & toothpaste
8. Biotene mouthwash
9. Ziplock bags
10. Tylenol
11. Aleve
1. Curel moisturizer
2. Immodium
3. Benadryle
4. Flushable wipes/medicated
5. Desitin
6. Thermometer
7. Toothbrush & toothpaste
8. Biotene mouthwash
9. Ziplock bags
10. Tylenol
11. Aleve
Thursday, April 14, 2011
A Hellish Beginning
After 13 hours we are finally home! This was supposed to take only five hours at most but it was eight more hours beyond that before we were done. The horror of the nurses trying to get the needle into the port will be one I won't forget anytime soon.
First the young nurse named Ashley tried to insert the one-inch needle into the port and although it went in, she was not able to get any blood out and had to remove the needle. She then went to get another nurse, an older more experienced nurse who tried another one-inch needle and then an 1 1/2-inch needle. The pressing down on an area that was still not healed and throbbing with pain and the stabbing of the many needles was agony. When she couldn't get anything, she went to get another nurse, Maureen, who also tried, and by this time I was in so much pain, that the name of the almighty was mentioned! And if you know me, once I reach this point, I am in real bad shape! Tears popped out too and I felt like a big baby.
After four attempts they finally gave up and called Dr. Schaffer's office who told them that they wanted me taken to the Angio department where the needle would be inserted with the help of x-ray.
And while we were waiting, a little nun came to pray with me and give me communion. I loved it and it calmed me down! It reminded me that God is always with me and that he will help me bear everything I have to.
When we got to Angio, I had to wait for the doctor for quite a while. The nurse, Michelle, took one look at the swollen port area, and said she wasn't going to touch it and went in search of a doctor. When the doctor finally became available, he too had to make two attempts. First he used the one-inch needle ... seriously people? Haven't we been down this road before? At least he discovered that there was a hematoma between my skin and the port and he drained that. On his second attempt with a 1 1/2-inch needle he finally got it in and was able to draw blood. And don't think it was any easier ... although he was more skillful ... it was still painful and there were several "Oh Gods". But it was done!
Got back up to my room 603 and there was "wonderful" hospital lunch. Ok ... I lie ... it wasn't bad. I was so hungry because all I had had was a piece of toast. There were thin slices of pork with some kind of sauce, mashed potatoes (ate all of this); spinach (ate two forkfuls); roll (pinched it); peach fruit cup (ate two pieces); peanut butter cookie (saved for later since I had my yummy ginger cookies) and water.
When the chemo drugs had not appeared yet by 1:30, I sent John out to get lunch for himself. I offered to share my hospital food, but Arby's won out for him. I read my two cookbooks -- "Eating Well With Cancer" and "Cancer-Fighting Kitchen," planned my menu for the week and did my shopping list.
After 2 pm when I was getting ready to start my book The Postmistress, nurse Ashley comes with my premeds -- Tylenol, Zofran, Zantac (50 mg), Ativan (0.5 mg), Benadryle (25 mg). One of the medications caused the weirdest intense itching ... started in my bottom of all places and then spread to under my arms and my head, but the Benadryle quickly took care of that. Strange! And of course the Benadryle knocked me out. Grrr ... I didn't want to sleep during the day, I'm afraid it is going to affect my sleep tonight.
When it came to the chemo drugs, it started with Herceptin (Trastuzumab) 260 mg, which took 90 minutes; then Docetaxel 124 mg which took 1 hour; and then Carboplatin 600 mg which took another hour. There were many, many trips to the bathroom in between!
And dinner came right after I had eaten my ginger cookie ... I am liking that cookie even better the next day which is common with anything made with spices. Time melds the flavors. I've also been drinking my ginseng ginger tea (more ginger the next time) and water.
I was hungry ... I ate all the chicken, carrots, touched the rice (no one can cook rice properly), ate all the fruit cup; cherry pie (yum); gave John the vanilla ice cream; drank all the water.
Finally all the medications were done and the port flushed! It is just after 9 pm and we are finally home. It's been a long, long day! But I survived this first chemo session and I will survive the next and the one after that and I shall to do them all with grace (thank you Donna for the reminder).
First the young nurse named Ashley tried to insert the one-inch needle into the port and although it went in, she was not able to get any blood out and had to remove the needle. She then went to get another nurse, an older more experienced nurse who tried another one-inch needle and then an 1 1/2-inch needle. The pressing down on an area that was still not healed and throbbing with pain and the stabbing of the many needles was agony. When she couldn't get anything, she went to get another nurse, Maureen, who also tried, and by this time I was in so much pain, that the name of the almighty was mentioned! And if you know me, once I reach this point, I am in real bad shape! Tears popped out too and I felt like a big baby.
After four attempts they finally gave up and called Dr. Schaffer's office who told them that they wanted me taken to the Angio department where the needle would be inserted with the help of x-ray.
And while we were waiting, a little nun came to pray with me and give me communion. I loved it and it calmed me down! It reminded me that God is always with me and that he will help me bear everything I have to.
When we got to Angio, I had to wait for the doctor for quite a while. The nurse, Michelle, took one look at the swollen port area, and said she wasn't going to touch it and went in search of a doctor. When the doctor finally became available, he too had to make two attempts. First he used the one-inch needle ... seriously people? Haven't we been down this road before? At least he discovered that there was a hematoma between my skin and the port and he drained that. On his second attempt with a 1 1/2-inch needle he finally got it in and was able to draw blood. And don't think it was any easier ... although he was more skillful ... it was still painful and there were several "Oh Gods". But it was done!
Got back up to my room 603 and there was "wonderful" hospital lunch. Ok ... I lie ... it wasn't bad. I was so hungry because all I had had was a piece of toast. There were thin slices of pork with some kind of sauce, mashed potatoes (ate all of this); spinach (ate two forkfuls); roll (pinched it); peach fruit cup (ate two pieces); peanut butter cookie (saved for later since I had my yummy ginger cookies) and water.
When the chemo drugs had not appeared yet by 1:30, I sent John out to get lunch for himself. I offered to share my hospital food, but Arby's won out for him. I read my two cookbooks -- "Eating Well With Cancer" and "Cancer-Fighting Kitchen," planned my menu for the week and did my shopping list.
After 2 pm when I was getting ready to start my book The Postmistress, nurse Ashley comes with my premeds -- Tylenol, Zofran, Zantac (50 mg), Ativan (0.5 mg), Benadryle (25 mg). One of the medications caused the weirdest intense itching ... started in my bottom of all places and then spread to under my arms and my head, but the Benadryle quickly took care of that. Strange! And of course the Benadryle knocked me out. Grrr ... I didn't want to sleep during the day, I'm afraid it is going to affect my sleep tonight.
When it came to the chemo drugs, it started with Herceptin (Trastuzumab) 260 mg, which took 90 minutes; then Docetaxel 124 mg which took 1 hour; and then Carboplatin 600 mg which took another hour. There were many, many trips to the bathroom in between!
And dinner came right after I had eaten my ginger cookie ... I am liking that cookie even better the next day which is common with anything made with spices. Time melds the flavors. I've also been drinking my ginseng ginger tea (more ginger the next time) and water.
I was hungry ... I ate all the chicken, carrots, touched the rice (no one can cook rice properly), ate all the fruit cup; cherry pie (yum); gave John the vanilla ice cream; drank all the water.
Finally all the medications were done and the port flushed! It is just after 9 pm and we are finally home. It's been a long, long day! But I survived this first chemo session and I will survive the next and the one after that and I shall to do them all with grace (thank you Donna for the reminder).
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Ginger for Nausea
I've been drinking ginseng green tea with freshly grated ginger to build up my resistance to nausea, so we shall see if this works. Tonight I decided to bake some ginger cookies. I found a Paula Deen recipe that seemed fine and it was! The cookies are crunchy on the outside and soft inside. I like my cookies more gingery so I doubled the amount of ginger. This is not the gingersnap cookies that my granny liked, but they are mighty good.
3/4 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/4 cup molasses
2 cup sifted all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground cloves
1/2 tsp. salt
1. Cream shortening and sugar until fluffy. Add egg and molasses and beat until well mixed.
2. Sift the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, cloves and salt. Add to the shortening mixture. Stir until well combined.
3. Use about one teaspoon of dough and roll into balls. Roll the balls in granulated sugar. Place half an inch apart on a baking stone or baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Flatten the balls slightly with your fingertips.
4. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 12 minutes. Cool on wire racks. Store in airtight tins.
Dread
It seems silly to be having a moment now but the dread has been building up. I don't want tomorrow to come. I've been cleaning and baking ginger cookies but dread is draped around my shoulders and I can't shake it off ... it's getting heavier and heavier. Oh, how I wish I could give this away.
But since I can't, I've packed my bag to take with me to chemotherapy ... my cancer cookbook to plan my week's menu, shopping list, The Postmistress to read, notepad, cookies, and tomorrow I will make some ginseng ginger green tea. There are bottles of water in the fridge ... I don't know what else one would pack for six hours of infusion.
This hasn't been a good week. I've been queasy and haven't been eating well and have lost about four pounds. I know it is just the thought of all those drugs entering my body that horrifies me ... I who cannot even take an ibuprofen without feeling guilty.
I'm sure that once the infusion starts tomorrow, I will be fine. I will have to be.
But since I can't, I've packed my bag to take with me to chemotherapy ... my cancer cookbook to plan my week's menu, shopping list, The Postmistress to read, notepad, cookies, and tomorrow I will make some ginseng ginger green tea. There are bottles of water in the fridge ... I don't know what else one would pack for six hours of infusion.
This hasn't been a good week. I've been queasy and haven't been eating well and have lost about four pounds. I know it is just the thought of all those drugs entering my body that horrifies me ... I who cannot even take an ibuprofen without feeling guilty.
I'm sure that once the infusion starts tomorrow, I will be fine. I will have to be.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Bunnies
If I sit quietly and don't move too much, I don't feel the port. There is quite a bit of pain when I get out of bed and when I reach for things. Pulling a tee-shirt over my head is almost impossible ... hubby had to help.
It's a lovely Spring day so I went about my business. Picked up more flowers to plant around the mailbox. Also decided to buy some tomato plants and a couple of herbs. Those will go into the ground this week. I didn't feel like messing with the garden today.
Instead I made two fabric bunny silhouettes ... one pink one and the other blue ... even bunnies have partners! They turned out pretty nice. I know what I will do differently next time. But for now these are for little Peyton's Easter basket.
It's a lovely Spring day so I went about my business. Picked up more flowers to plant around the mailbox. Also decided to buy some tomato plants and a couple of herbs. Those will go into the ground this week. I didn't feel like messing with the garden today.
Instead I made two fabric bunny silhouettes ... one pink one and the other blue ... even bunnies have partners! They turned out pretty nice. I know what I will do differently next time. But for now these are for little Peyton's Easter basket.
The Second Wig
We went to pick up my second wig today. This is the shorter wig that I will wear the day after my chemo treatment and which I will wear to work. The lovely Marianne was there and I discovered that the owner of the store had worked for the same law firm I did. I was very glad to give her my business.
Today has been a nice day. Had lunch with Donna who drove all the way from Norfolk. She also brought me books and cancer magazines. I am going to read the postmistress during my first chemo session. And she brought the two rascals catnip toys. Friends are important in our lives.
And this afternoon, I received in the mail the book Eating Well Through Cancer that Jean sent to me. I have looked through it already and will gladly cook all the recipes in there. I am grateful for these caring friends.
I have been having allergy like symptoms since yesterday ... sneezing like crazy and running nose and scratchy throat. I opened up the Herbal Kitchen and concocted up a mixture of honey and tumeric and have taken 2 teaspoonfuls of it. Let's see how well that works. Am actually feeling much better ... no more sneezing and my nose is not running. Hopefully by tomorrow all will be gone.
Today has been a nice day. Had lunch with Donna who drove all the way from Norfolk. She also brought me books and cancer magazines. I am going to read the postmistress during my first chemo session. And she brought the two rascals catnip toys. Friends are important in our lives.
And this afternoon, I received in the mail the book Eating Well Through Cancer that Jean sent to me. I have looked through it already and will gladly cook all the recipes in there. I am grateful for these caring friends.
I have been having allergy like symptoms since yesterday ... sneezing like crazy and running nose and scratchy throat. I opened up the Herbal Kitchen and concocted up a mixture of honey and tumeric and have taken 2 teaspoonfuls of it. Let's see how well that works. Am actually feeling much better ... no more sneezing and my nose is not running. Hopefully by tomorrow all will be gone.
Cloudy guarding her catnip mouse from Tiger
Tiger a blur of movement as he plays with his own mouse
I took off the bandage from the port insertion today because the adhesive from the bandage was irritating my skin. I can feel the port and am wondering how the nurses are going to do the chemo drugs through there, but I guess I will be finding out on Thursday. The scar is a little larger than I thought it would be. However, it is a straight line and it will heal well. Better to have that close to my shoulder socket than on my chest where it will be visible. Good old Dr. Knaysi ... always taking such care not to scar us unnecessarily. What a skillful and thoughtful man. I am grateful for so many things.
Friday, April 8, 2011
The Port is In!
There is some discomfort but it is very bearable and I have to be careful how I move my arm because some movements are more painful than others.
We went in to St. Mary's at 6:45 ... way too early! I recognized some of my surgical team .. I got nurse Mike from my recovery room on March 1. He was so good I didn't even feel the IV needle go in! Dr. Knaysi stopped by and explained that the port is a plastic ball flattened into a disc with a thin tubing that will feed into a vein. He is placing it close to the arm socket and will actually stay hidden better. I thought it would be more towards the center of the chest. Dr. Knaysi's way will better hide whatever scar will result from this procedure because there will also be surgery to remove the disc.
We were back home just after 12. Took a nap in the armchair before I made myself some ginseng green tea with honey and freshly grated ginger, and some toast ... yumm! Dozed on the couch again.
Am sneezing like crazy and am taking Benadryl for it. This had better be allergies!
Sarah is up in Northern Virginia ... I have missed her nattering on the couch next to me.
We went in to St. Mary's at 6:45 ... way too early! I recognized some of my surgical team .. I got nurse Mike from my recovery room on March 1. He was so good I didn't even feel the IV needle go in! Dr. Knaysi stopped by and explained that the port is a plastic ball flattened into a disc with a thin tubing that will feed into a vein. He is placing it close to the arm socket and will actually stay hidden better. I thought it would be more towards the center of the chest. Dr. Knaysi's way will better hide whatever scar will result from this procedure because there will also be surgery to remove the disc.
We were back home just after 12. Took a nap in the armchair before I made myself some ginseng green tea with honey and freshly grated ginger, and some toast ... yumm! Dozed on the couch again.
Am sneezing like crazy and am taking Benadryl for it. This had better be allergies!
Sarah is up in Northern Virginia ... I have missed her nattering on the couch next to me.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Port Insertion
I will have to be at St. Mary's at 6:45 am tomorrow ... urgh! I am not worried because Dr. Knaysi is doing the surgery and I am sure he will do his best. I have no idea what this is going to look like ... I have no frame of reference, no picture. Another scar on my body, but I would take a million scars so I can meet my grandchildren ... how glorious they will be if they are anything like their mother!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Stupid Things People Say
Sometimes I wonder whether people filter the things that come out of their mouths and realize how much of a donkey's behind they sound like? God forgive them. We all pay for the things we do in this world.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Happy Birthday, Grandpa!
Papa would have been 100 today. However, he did not have the gift of long life ... he died at 71. He had a hard life -- surviving the hardships of WWII, and I wonder how well can one recover from something like that? He was never a robust man but he was our grandfather and he was the one we ran to when we encountered snakes on our land. I hate those things!
I am trying very hard to live a long life. I don't know how to give in ... I know I get that from Nanny!
I am trying very hard to live a long life. I don't know how to give in ... I know I get that from Nanny!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
No Salt
Today I started my "no salt" cooking. Went food shopping this morning and picked up a couple of McCormick's "no salt" seasonings. And this evening I sauteed some ground chicken with garlic and onion, tomato paste, McCormick's Garlic & Herb seasoning, spinach, and then tossed everything with whole grain penne and freshly grated Peccorino.
I don't use a lot of salt in my cooking but I am trying to cut out all salt I can in anticipation of fluid retaining steroids. I read on the TCH discussion board that lots of people had fluid retention from their medications, and since I have almost two weeks to "desalt" my body, why not?
It is impossible to get every bit of salt out, but I have to try ... it gives me something to do. Some tiny bit of control in a life that has spiraled out of my control.
I also bought fresh ginger root today, peeled that and froze it. I can grate that into my Ginseng green tea and that is supposed to be good for the nausea that is coming. Might as well prepare my body for it. I wonder if doing this now, will help? I'll find out, won't I? I've been reading Herbal Kitchen and this is a recommended use for ginger. I may even bake ginger cookies next week before my chemo. I love ginger so this is not a hardship. I'd better start looking for a good recipe ... shouldn't be a problem with all those cookbooks I have!
I don't use a lot of salt in my cooking but I am trying to cut out all salt I can in anticipation of fluid retaining steroids. I read on the TCH discussion board that lots of people had fluid retention from their medications, and since I have almost two weeks to "desalt" my body, why not?
It is impossible to get every bit of salt out, but I have to try ... it gives me something to do. Some tiny bit of control in a life that has spiraled out of my control.
I also bought fresh ginger root today, peeled that and froze it. I can grate that into my Ginseng green tea and that is supposed to be good for the nausea that is coming. Might as well prepare my body for it. I wonder if doing this now, will help? I'll find out, won't I? I've been reading Herbal Kitchen and this is a recommended use for ginger. I may even bake ginger cookies next week before my chemo. I love ginger so this is not a hardship. I'd better start looking for a good recipe ... shouldn't be a problem with all those cookbooks I have!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Chop ... chop
This morning I went to the hairdresser to get my hair cut. It's shorter than I have had it since I was a teenager! Sarah took one look at me and said "I've never seen you with hair that short". It's short but it is not as short as I could have gone ... I could have done it like Emma Watson's but I could not bring myself to do that. This was hard enough. This will have to do.
My first chemo session will be in two weeks. That is plenty of time to get used to not having hair to pull back from my face. It's not even vanity ... it has everything to do with the drastic changes this disease has brought to my life. But this is all the space I am giving to crappy cancer.
We had lunch at Bertucci's to celebrate David's birthday then home for cupcakes and presents.
Now the chocolate mousse is chilling in the fridge ... the pot roast is in the crockpot ... we are all ready to watch the VCU v Butler game this evening. It is going to be a fun evening.
My first chemo session will be in two weeks. That is plenty of time to get used to not having hair to pull back from my face. It's not even vanity ... it has everything to do with the drastic changes this disease has brought to my life. But this is all the space I am giving to crappy cancer.
We had lunch at Bertucci's to celebrate David's birthday then home for cupcakes and presents.
Now the chocolate mousse is chilling in the fridge ... the pot roast is in the crockpot ... we are all ready to watch the VCU v Butler game this evening. It is going to be a fun evening.
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